been questioning who i am and what do i want in my life for the past month or so.
still no answer.
sometimes i just want to revisit my old self. the self that knew how to dream. the self that saw good over bad, sun shines over rain clouds. i want to know how it feels to have something to live for.
im tired of being negative all the time. but sometimes the negative makes more sense. more “real”. maybe i could retreat into the world of make believe. i know i need a time for solitude, to look into myself a little bit deeper. i know i am still in there somewhere.
i need to give myself a chance to change. but i need to push myself to take the first step. nobody else will do it for me.
it’s kinda weird. i want change so bad.. but then i am scared of it. i am scared of the unknown. but hello, nothings ever gonna happen if i let fear get in my way. damn. i have these voices in my head again. arguing. hahahaha.